Richmond Heavies win

Weybridge Vandals Owls beaten

League showdown on

Well, I was threatening to pen a haiku, so as the literary minded among you will spot the title to this weeks missive is one. I know, showing off, and more particularly not busy at work. However, like all great verse (?) the medium manages to evoke imagery-laden meaning simply not conveyed in common prose.

OK, enough of the Guardianista bulls**t, and onto the match report. By the way we won, 72-5, which would have been even more if Fairny had remembered how to kick.

You will recall that we had to ''postpone'' our away fixture against the Vandals before Christmas, and so every game, and every point counts hereon in. The good news is that Spud, the Owls' skipper indicated that a good lunch might resolve the rearrangement of the away fixture issue. You will be pleased and proud to know that your Skipper feels up to this challenge and will take one for the team. No thanks needed.

The Heavies fielded a pretty strong team for this must-win game; as we know from past experience the Vandals have the capacity to do damage, particularly in the pack, and with a good halfback or two, they could have really threatened us. Luckily they didn't really turn up. They had only 15 players to start with and experienced two pretty nasty injuries mid-way through the first half which left them further denuded, one in the pack and one in the backs. One of the injuries appeared to be a fractured skull as their flanker ran into Addys bottom. I dont know what Addys bottom is made of, but steel it aint. Apparently the guy wanted to carry on, but when Spud was able to push his thumb into his head up to the first knuckle it was thought perhaps wise for him to have a breather. The other injury appeared to be a popped AC joint. Best wishes to both guys.

Despite the score, we never really felt that we were playing well. Most of our tries were breakaways, with good gas and staying power displayed once the first line of defence was broken. Chocs picked up 4 tries, some of which were trademark beauties. Addy got 3, Budge got one, Cuth one, Satts one and Clem two. However, Clem dropped another three, and despite being warned by Skips not to kick in the second half on pain of a jug of gin-ton, he did (OK, a try did result from the kick but he must learn to obey). Fairny kicked like a girl, which at least made the maths easier when totting up the score. Munch took over and knocked over 4 (Fairny ended up popping over 2), hurt his groin, which gives us a challenge at fly half for the Barnes game next Saturday, 13 February. Applications please, otherwise you know who will take the position……. Vandals got one back when Spud, who plays tight head by the way, chipped over Addy, regathered and put his wing into score. The wing did take a detour via the adjacent pitch, a marginal in touch missed by a forgiving referee, but Addy's excuse that an ex-girlfriend on the touchline had distracted him just wont do.

Munchs departure paved the way for a cameo appearance at scrum half by Fenty, that well-known bullet passer. It went to his head immediately, with his first three options being to put the men outside him in the sh*t. Game-changing number 8 it is from now on. Baggy had a few rampaging runs. Cuth blew out of his proverbial, playing at 6. Heato played for them for a while then swapped places with special forces Steve. Can't remember much else of interest, except to reiterate that it was a crucial win, and a big score which will definitely help in the league. On the latter, I can't work out what the up to date status is, because the league table has not been updated since Christmas, but we need to assume that Barnes are still winning with us in second. Which brings me on to next week, when we are playing our chums from the wetland centre at home. Probably a 2pm kick off, but watch this space. Team shaping up as follows:

1         Fozzy

2         Cuth

3         Grundy (poss.)

4         Toots

5         Gadsy

6         Budge

7         Vyv

8         Clem

9         AJ

10     Vacancy

11     Darkie

12     Chocs

14     Matt

15     Secs

16     Skips

Bench   Darragh, Tozer, Geoff, Fenty, Bosh, Satts

So, a bench laden with power if not guile. Could do with a 10 and another girl please, as well as a prop.

Tour Secs has sent a number of emails about Amsterdam. Lloydy has successfully secured us a massive shirt sponsorship deal, for which many thanks. Your reward will have to wait until heaven because you will see no financial benefit this side of life. We could do with a few more numbers, particularly front row. We need to close the book next week to finalise flights and hotels, so please make yourselves available, and most importantly pay up. £250 to the RHFD account.

Speak / see you soon

Pip pip

        Skips